Local man Dave Goodman has decided to start taking care of himself this afternoon by buying a whole bunch of fresh vegetables that he will then throw out next week when they go off.
“This is it, I am actually going to commit this time,” he said naively. “Otherwise I’ve just wasted a bunch of money and money’s tight at the moment. I won’t let this go to waste. Though I’m pretty busy tonight so I’ll probably just get takeaway. Actually better order two nights worth as it’ll make the delivery fee worth it.”
Goodman’s roommates have said they will cheer him on in this endeavor as they know he will need reminding to throw out the food when it gets gross, although in two weeks time they will definitely mock him for failing.
Update: Goodman has now gone one step further in his quest to get healthy, by purchasing an annual gym membership which he he hopes to use at least once by Christmas