General News
Local man pushing last of toothpaste tube to unexplored new limits

Local bachelor James Davidson has today made history by pushing a toothpaste tube to its very limits in a bid to not have to go buy a new tube.

Davidson claims that the Colgate purchased in 2019, which has already been squeezed, rolled and pressed, still has a lot to give and that he plans to prove it with his new strategies for getting a tiny bit of toothpaste after no longer seeing results from the ‘pushing the bristles inside the nozzle’ method.

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“It’s not worth the effort of buying a new one,” he explained, “all I need to do is push it with this rolling pin for 20 minutes this morning. Then tonight, I have a steamroller coming to squeeze some out after dinner. I don’t like being wasteful.

Davidson says it’s not the end of the world if he doesn’t get out a full brush worth of toothpaste as he still has his trusty mouthwash that is 99.95% water at this point.

The Chaser