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Loose Unit Albo spends election eve doing donuts outside ScoMo’s house

Opposition leader Anthony ‘Loose Unit’ Albanese has today called on Scott Morrison to hold a final leaders debate at Woy Woy Maccas carpark, after spending the day doing donuts out the front of Kirribilli house.

“Oy get out here ya dog,” Albo was heard shouting this afternoon while necking a VB in the gutter. “Fuckin lets get on the Dandrews then decide this election like men, hey.”

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It is just the latest move slammed by the Murdoch media as “UnAustralian” following a string of recent scandals, which saw the opposition leader unable to recall the number of cold ones he sunk at The Bowlo the previous night.

“You simply can’t trust this man with the economy,” Prime Minister Scott Morrison explained, in between destroying the housing market and putting the country in a trillion dollars of debt, “Unlike me, Albo might fuck up fuel and food prices, which are both great right now I assume.”

Asked for a response, the opposition leader told journalists to “suck a fat one” before doing a burnout into a wall.




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