The Federal government has today once again prevented a vote on a federal anti-corruption commission, explaining that with everything that has been going on, they just haven’t had the time. Instead, they’ve been prioritising far more important matters, such as legislating for businesses and schools to be able to fire gay people.
In a press conference earlier today, professional liar and occasional Prime Minister Scott Morrison justified the decision. “Don’t you people realise how busy I am. Think about everything I’ve done since taking office. All those reforms. All those tough decisions. Remember the bushfires, when I was out there every day, shaking the hands of those poor victims? Remember all the work in getting enough vaccines into the country in a reasonable time frame? Remember everything I did to make parliament a safer place for women? For God’s sake, I haven’t even been able to go on an overseas holiday in nearly two years!”
When asked when he does plan to act on ICAC, the PM assured the press that it’ll be a top priority, which they hope to get to sometime around 2029. Until then, the parliament can always vote his own alternative to the anti-corruption commission – drafted by an attorney general who has since resigned in disgrace – in which politicians engaging in unethical behaviour will be given a stern talking to and made to think about what they have done.