Afghan politicians and civilians alike have been spotted rounding up vast amounts of oil supply today in a desperate attempt to draw back the US military to their country.
“I’m thinking of pouring my oil all over a supply of Cuban cigars and Vietnamese Pho,” said one local. “I’ve also expressed an interest in communism too just to seal the deal.”
However Republic senators have so far remained hesitant at re-invading the country, stating that the Taliban’s oppression of women, gays, and atheists is doing a much better job spreading their ideals than Republicans could ever hope.
President Joe Biden has also refused to support a re-invasion stating “well no, we’re not going back… but exactly how much oil are we talkin’ here?”