The nation has been thrown into mourning today, following tragic reports out of Balmoral that Charles is King of Australia.
“I didn’t think I was going to cry,” said Perth woman Sally Notreal, “I mean I always knew death was close by at their age. I was just hoping it would happen before the Queen died, he was never meant to out live her.”
“I need time to mourn,” said one distraught Canberran Fay Kaname. “Fifteen days minimum. It should be a holiday. Shit, do we have to celebrate his birthday? Oh god, here comes the tears again.”