Dictator Dan launches ground invasion of NSW to bring Covid cases under control

Dictator and part time staircase enthusiast Daniel Andrews has today deployed the Victorian Red Army across the NSW border in a brutal attempt to destroy their gold star Covid response.

“We simply can’t allow NSW to keep beating our Covid numbers like this,” announced a furious Dan from his evil headquarters today. “It is now up to us to crush their infection rate, prepare for invasion you cocaine snorting banking fanclub.”

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The Andrews government has already implemented the first stages of a Victorian takeover, deploying guerilla coffee makers to set up underground operations in Sydney’s laneways, in preparation for a full ground invasion. Victorian forces are expected to push through the NSW-Victoria border late tonight, stopping briefly in a country town to sample their organic produce before moving on to Sydney where they will implement a brutal 2 week full lockdown, followed by months of brutal, crushing freedom.

The Chaser