Prime Minister Scott Morrison has been left confused today, following newly leaked allegations that he stoked anti-muslim sentiment in 2007, telling reporters that the idea that he would ever be racist was as unheard of as slavery.
“What nonsense I can’t be racist,” explained the PM. “Do you really think Cronulla would vote for someone who stoked racist sentiment?”
“I’m so racist that my party even passed a bill stating ‘It’s Okay To Be White!'” continued Morrison. “I mean I really don’t know what more you want from me?”
“Look, simply put, if I was racist, would I really be spending all this money on relocating immigrants into billion dollar, state-of-the-art Nauru camps?”
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m in the middle of an election campaign, so I must go warn the public about all the African gangs terrorising the streets.”