Local Australian Greg Blokeson has today told his boss that he is too distraught to work next Friday due to his deep distress over the death of “Queen Whats Her Face”.
The staunch republican told his boss that he has always felt a special connection to the Queen and that is why he has always partied so hard on the Queen’s birthday. “I’m going to need at least a four day weekend to get over her passing,” explained Greg, “and maybe the Monday too, for the bereavement hangover.”
“I’m completely shattered boss,” he said smirking through the very real pain. “I just don’t have it in me. You see this one time when I was a kid I saw a photo of her, so I basically knew her and it really hurts. I might even need the full 15 days the politicians are getting.”
In response to that tragic story, Greg has managed to get the extra day off work but will be spending it doing an hour long interview with ABC News who want to hear more about the time he saw a picture of the Queen.