Bookies are raking in the cash ahead of the Paralympics today, with punters racing to place bets on which broadcaster will be the first to make a horrendously insensitive remark about one of the athletes. Bets are especially tight around broadcaster Channel 7, with the odds currently neck and neck on whether the network will say something incredibly racist or ableist first.
However, Channel 7 say they are not worried, and that their staff have been given minutes of training on sensitivity. “If there’s one thing we know about people with other abilities,” said one Channel 7 reporter, “it’s how to do so respectfully. I’m just really excited to see how our special athletes go, now that the real Olympics is over.”
“In fact forget the sports,” he continued, as punters celebrated their win. “I don’t think viewers are tuning in to see people at the peak of their physical fitness accomplish record breaking feats. No what people really want to see is able bodied people talk about how ‘very brave’ it is that these athletes choose to live like that.”
“It’s so inspiring. If these people can be a pro-athlete, anyone can.”
“And sure the Paralympics asked for the media not to bring up how people got their disabilities, but we can’t not talk about that! What else are we supposed to ask them about? Their sports? Training? The same stuff we ask Olympians? Pft, gimme a break.”
“Wait, can I say ‘break’ in front of these [redacted] or is that insensitive?”