Chief assistant to the state premiers Scott Morrison has finally been granted some responsibility, with National Cabinet reluctantly putting the PM in charge of ordering their coffees.
Despite being the leader of the Australian Government, Morrison has had very little to do throughout Covid as everything that went wrong during the pandemic from lockdowns to the lack of quarantine facilities were solely because of the states.
“Being Prime Minister you are completely powerless to make any decisions or influence anything so we thought we better give this bloke something to do to stop his boredom during these meetings,” said Victorian Dictator Dan Andrews.
“Nothing important obviously! That would be catastrophic – but surely he couldn’t possibly stuff up a coffee order, right?”
UPDATE: The premiers’ coffees are running incredibly late with Morrison yet to return from a nearby café despite his personal assurances that he was “at the front of the queue.”