Queen dies, leader of Australia remains the same

Government authorities have rushed to reassure Australians today that there will be no upheaval to their day to day lives, as the owner of Australia is still alive and well in his New York penthouse.

“There has been opportunistic talk about trying to get rid of our ruler and becoming an independent nation,” said PM Albanese today. “this is not the time or place. I have it on good authority that Rupert didn’t like the idea of the upcoming media inquiry so we’ve called the whole thing off.”

A quick ad

“When I took office I swore my allegiance to the ruler of this nation and if I have to do it again I will. I am always happy to reaffirm my loyalty to the Murdoch dynasty.”

“Okay, and that’s a wrap? Great. My god I hate that guy. What an absolute stain on the toilet bowl of democrOH GOD MY MIC’S STILL ON.”

The Chaser