Sydney house prices hit new high as inner city terrace sells for 3 iceberg lettuce

Economists have raised serious concerns that the Sydney housing market may be completely out of control this week, after auction prices hit a new high price of 3 iceberg lettuce and a litre of petrol.

“It’s completely out of control,” exclaimed one house investor struggling to afford their 12th apartment. “If the government doesn’t step in soon I’m going to be forced to increase the rent on 50 uni students just to afford the essentials, such as my daily caviar.”

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However not everyone was so unfortunate, with one lucky millennial snapping up a great bargain on a iceberg lettuce with the extremely savvy investing method of having billionaire parents. “I don’t know why more people haven’t done this!” he exclaimed. “If I can do it, anyone can. Except 99% of you.”

The Chaser