Former Victorian Shadow Attorney-General Tim Smith has announced that he will be stepping down from the Victorian Liberal Party, releasing a statement saying that his drunken car-crash of a political career will be ending after he got in a drunken car-crash.
The Liberal Party announced that Tim Smith being caught driving at twice the legal limit means that he can no longer be trusted as a member of the Victorian Liberal party, and that following his resignation he will be instead joining the Federal Cabinet.
“Dan Andrews is not responsible enough to lead this place,” yelled Smith while a police officer was trying to breathalyse him, “he told me to get on the beers… and I.. got on the beers.”
“It wasn’t my fault, I thought Dan was in the other car so I drove into it. It’s all… umm… *burp* oh hello officer, what seems to be the problem? Are you looking for those criminal African Gangs? About time! They are a real danger to Melbournians.”
Acting Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce expressed excitement over Tim Smith’s move to the Federal Coalition saying, ‘he has just the integrity we have been looking for to take over as the Federal Attorney General, also I am thrilled to finally have some to drink with at Question Time.’