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Woman worth 5 times Fiji’s GDP desperately needs a tax cut, insists Dutton

Opposition leader Peter Dutton has today slammed the Labor party over rumors they may scrap the Liberal party’s plan to drive a large truck of money to the front door of Australia’s billionaires, stating that giving more money to already rich people is much more important than whether the government can keep funding Medicare.

“How can Australia ever trust Labor again if they don’t follow through with a widely hated plan implemented before they were in power?” asked a furious Dutton today. “We all know governments always follow through with election promises. That’s why we don’t have a GST, why Malcolm Turnbull’s NBN was so much cheaper, and why the budget is now back in the black.”

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Asked whether it might make more sense for the country to try to resolve the massive debt the coalition has racked up, given how they spent the last 15 years banging on about it, Dutton explained that government debt is actually good if it means a woman worth $26 Billion can finally afford her 12th yacht. “What you have to understand is debt is only bad if it’s spent on wasteful things like hospitals, trains, or dental care for poor children,” explained Dutton. “However, if we’re handing hundreds of billions of dollars of tax cuts to Harry Triguboff so he can afford to keep giving $200,000 to the Liberal party each year, well that’s just good financial management.”

“Who even needs roads anyway?”




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