Boris Johnson excited to hold farewell party

Former UK Prime Minister and families man, Boris Johnson has been spotted excitedly planning his farewell party which will serve as a final tribute to his failed run as Prime Minister.

The party machine is reportedly hoping to outdo the ragger threw after Prince Phillip’s funeral.

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“The mostly redacted report into my leadership says that I failed in allowing these parties at Number 10 to take place,” Boris told parliament, “and for that I am truely sorry. I should have had that part of the report redacted too.”

“However the suggestion that I was not being honest when I said that I didn’t know the parties were parties is just ridiculous. While I accept that there were parties, in my house, on my birthday, I still had no idea a party was happening.”

Told that he was required to attend a party room meeting today to discuss his leadership, Boris said he was excited, and that he would bring the booze.

The Chaser