“Cancel culture is out of control” complains man who regularly murders people for having opinions he doesn’t like

Bond villain Vladimir Putin has today taken to the airwaves to denounce the rise of “cancel culture”, stating that anyone he sees engaging in such intollerance will be thrown out of a 10th story window.

“How did humanity get to a point where we can’t even tolerate other people having different points of view?” asked the man who only yesterday tried to arrest his god-daughter for criticising him. “God, it makes me so angry I want to ruin the lives of everyone involved in it by smearing them in the public sphere.”

The Chaser